The Author's Madness
by VirgilTheart
Summary: A inner meeting within fanfic author, VirgilTheart's mind! The Bleach and KH cast members aren't very pleased with what VT's got in store for them, but they don't realize just how much more evil an author he can be... Cracky stuff here folks


**Hey guys and gals of Bleach and KH fandom alike!!! I'm VT and I do not own the characters (save for two of them, **_**Virgil Theart **_**and **_**Lucy Isaac**_**) that you are about to meet in this rather humorous one-shot. Many a times, I have "envisioned" conversations between myself and characters from these series, and as a fan fiction author, I decided to show you all one of the most recent conversations within my ADHD brain. **

_The Author's Madness_

Somewhere along the borders of two states out in the middle of nowhere, there was a tired brown haired young man lying on a small black leather bed in the high school's nurse's office. He'd just thrown up and was waiting for his mother to pick him up.

His name? Well, he _could_ tell you, but for security's sake he refers to himself merely as Virgil Theart or VT. As he laid on the leather bed, tired and groggy from the vomiting and irritatingly loud students that were also in the room, Virgil's mind was elsewhere…

Blinking a few times, Virgil found himself covered in darkness, and standing on a stained glass mural. The design had him etched in a large form, and small dragons and other mystical creatures were out and about the platform's floor design. Shrugging, Virgil looked around and shouted "Meeting time everyone!"

Slowly, various figures began to slowly manifest themselves on the platform. First came a spirited and happy young man with spiky brown hair and cerulean blue eyes. He was dressed in the outfit Virgil had imagined for an upcoming fan fiction. Grinning, Sora waved at the sickly author and said, "Mornin' chief!"

Virgil nodded his head and warmly replied, "Good morning, Sora. Let's wait for the rest of the gang to arrive."

Up next came another character, though this one with bright orange hair and deep amber eyes. Dressed in a black shinigami outfit, and with his trusty sword, _Zangetsu_, resting on his back, the deathberry, Ichigo Kurosaki scowled and merely said, "Hey boss."

Virgil rolled his eyes and suddenly was glomped from behind by none other than Stitch, the furry blue-coated alien. Virgil smiled slightly and managed to reach behind himself and patted Stitch on the head.

"That damn alien gets too much love from the boss," complained another shinigami, with spiked red-hair and covered in tattoos.

Stitch, upon hearing Renji's words, glared at the shinigami and shot back some insult about Renji's mother in an alien language. Renji automatically glared back in response, but wisely chose not to push the matter further, as the omnipotent author that was his boss was standing between himself and the alien.

"Now, now you two. No more fighting…" Virgil muttered darkly, raising his right hand and the two characters were swept up into the air and floated above the platform.

The two glared and growled at each other but muttered "Fine" to please their boss. By this time, the characters Virgil had summoned into his mind were now all there. Strolling casually to the center, Virgil motioned for everyone's attention.

"Thank you all for joining with me today. As you all know, I've been planning on a few new fan fictions, _Reconnect_, its sequel _Shattered_ and _Death & The Maiden_. You all know the ideas, and I'd like to know what your opinions are of them," Virgil said.

The crowd looked amongst each other slowly and then quickly flipped into a more active stupor, with them all raising their hands and fighting for first word. Still tired, Virgil random pointed his hand to none other than the Princess of Heart, Kairi. In the past, when Virgil had been planning his original Kingdom Hearts fan fiction series, Kairi usually wore a smile and was genuinely happy with Virgil's ideas. Now however, she glared at Virgil and was downright furious with the author.

Virgil let out a nervous chuckle and said, "Good morning, Kairi. Now, what do you thi-"

"I think you're getting too obsessed with this "AquRa" pairing of yours. Imagine having to see your loved one with someone else!" Kairi interrupted with fury dripping in her voice.

At this, Virgil smirked, "Well, firstly, although I _do_ believe you're in love with Sora in the actual games, Tetsuya Nomura has yet to have either one of you confess to each other about it in the games. Secondly, there _is_ good reasoning behind my shipping of AquRa, and it is indeed a possible pairing for now until Nomura makes his decision."

Kairi huffed and rolled her eyes muttering something about Virgil's inner desire to always having to kill off a character in his stories. Virgil, hearing this all too clearly, rolled his eyes and with the snap of his fingers, Kairi vanished from the platform. Shaking his head, Virgil muttered, "Don't complain about who lives and who dies… first rule when working with me."

The crowd, which knew quite well that they were subjects to whatever Virgil had planned for them, merely nodded their heads in agreement. Virgil fought back the urge to smirk when he saw two particular Bleach characters in a heated kiss in the back of the crowd. Feigning a cough, Virgil said, "You two look like you're having fun back there… Ichigo and Orihime."

Immediately the kissing couple quickly shot away from each other, blushing immensely. Rolling his eyes at the example of such a weakness, Aizen decided to ask, "Why must I fail in both _Shattered_ and _Death & The Maiden_?"

Virgil smiled and opened his mouth to begin his explanation when suddenly a booming voice interrupted, "Because no one is a better villain than Gaston!"

The crowd turned to see the Disney villain smirking and posing when a loud bang roared through the platform and Gaston was flung backwards and fell into the endless abyss. Fearfully the characters turned back around to see Virgil himself holding a Browning High Power nine-millimeter handgun, smoke emitting from the gun. Virgil blew out some air at the gun's tip and blew away the smoke before having the gun vanish before the mass's very eyes. Glaring at the empty space where the egotistical Disney villain previous stood, Virgil sarcastically sang, _No one's got an ego like Gaston…_

After a moment, Virgil sighed and looked back at Aizen, remembering his question. "The answer is simple: I'm the author, and I feel you've been kicking too much ass in the manga recently. I get that you have total hypnosis and Ichigo currently is far too weak to possibly beat you at this given time. And as it is, Kubo's made the mistake of giving you too much power already and heavily implies that your other capabilities are even superior. Therefore, I'm simplifying your powers to a much more fair standards in _Death & The Maiden_. You also have the scythe that all Death's get, which is incredibly powerful, so you're still incredibly strong. As for _Shattered_, you get defeated twice, as you already know. The first time, I have occur partly to bring your ego down a bit so that you're more willing to actually make a joint-effort with Vanitas. The second victory at the end is inevitable. It'd have to happen no matter what. Hate me if you choose to, but it's still my fan fiction here."

Glaring at Virgil for his explanation, Aizen walked away from the area, vanishing back to wherever Kubo Tite's mind was… However, another shinigami, Yamamoto himself, spoke, "Why is it that you always find some way to kill me in your stories?"

Virgil shot back, "Because you irritate me immensely. Good day si-" However, Virgil was interrupted, as Soi Fon shunpo'd behind Virgil and was about to apply her two-step death attack, when suddenly she popped like a bubble and vanished as Kairi had only moments before. Glaring towards the now empty space behind him. "Damn bitch never learns who she shouldn't attack… Rule two when working with me: never try to attack me, you'll never make it."

Again the group nervously nodded in acknowledgement. However, Renji muttered the words, "I bet he's nicer to his original characters…"

Virgil laughed upon hearing the words all too clearly. He'd almost forgotten that the characters had never met his original cast, nor did they have any idea of his plans for them… Virgil was about to speak when suddenly a voice spoke from behind him, "You think you guys have it bad? He's downright _evil _to _us_…"

Virgil turned around to see a young woman, about nineteen years old, with long auburn hair that went a few inches past her shoulders, and with slight bangs at the front. Her piercing emerald eyes gleamed happily as she strolled towards the young author in her brown leather jacket, with a white t-shirt underneath along with some blue jeans and white sneakers. In her hands were two long lances, and they _looked_ deadly as they were. Despite the obvious fact that she could kill someone, the lady looked incredibly sweet and playful.

Orihime smiled brightly and walked over to the stranger, "H-hello, OC-san! Y-you kinda look like me."

The woman examined Orihime before smiling warmly back, "I suppose, just a little. I'm American though. Lucretia Isaac's the name! But most just call me Lucy."

Ishida pushed his glasses up before asking, "What did you mean by 'he's evil to _us_'? I don't see anyone else around here…"

Lucy's eyes widened and looked around before glaring towards the direction in which she'd come from and yelled, "Get your ass over here, VT!"

Everyone, save for the young author and Lucy gasped and looked at the two. Ichigo shouted, "But VT's right here!" and pointed at the young author.

Virgil shook his head before replying, "Virgil Theart isn't my real name. It's my username on the Internet, and it's also the name of my other original character," at this he motioned behind him and revealed a tall young man, about the same age as Lucy, with jet black hair that had slight bangs. His stormy grey eyes examined the area and he paced next to Lucy. He was wearing a naval blue pea coat with a white dress shirt underneath and black pants and shoes. In his right hand was a massive scythe.

The character Virgil looked at the group and sighed, "Lucy's right: You guys have it easy. _We're_ his real victims. I _could_ tell you all what he has in store for us, but that'd just get Lucy here in a fit and then _I'd_ have to hold her back from trying to strangle the boss man here. Trust me, you guys have _no_ _idea_ what this lunatic has in store for us. I'd stop complaining now, before he decides to think up even more evil ideas for you guys."

Nodding his head, the young author warmly said, "Thanks VT," he turned to the crowd again, "Well I think that should be all for right now."

And with that, the young author's eyes snapped, his body jolted as he came back from his strange daydream. He was bonked in the nose by an elbow from the guy in the neighboring bed in the nurse's office and merely wanted his coughing fit and pain to go away…

As he waited to be picked up for home, Virgil thought to himself, _Life is so much easier when __**I'm **__the author… _

_~ Fini ~_

**Author's Notes: I think that's the wackiest thing I've ever written. And it literally came out of nowhere. I was restless last night and began typing my most recent "meeting" with the casts of Kingdom Hearts and Bleach. This is actually how my mind sort of works: I imagine myself chatting with the characters. XD Strange but I find it fun. And yes, Lucy and VT are indeed my original characters. ;D So no taking them from me!**


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